Sweet Nothing

You took my heart and you held it in your mouth 
And with a word all my love came rushing out 

In this new life I have been leaving for a month I have been trying to be as busy as possible, trying to catch every single opportunity to feel happy and build a better version of myself. I am trying to go regularly to the gym and get a stronger body in which I can feel confident but most of all happy. Happiness is my everyday goal but even in the summer there are cloudy days. You don't see it coming, sometime clouds appear even when sun is shining in the sky.
When it comes to you, I never see it coming. You are my sun and my clouds at the same time. Every time I speak to you, I feel the happiest girl in the world. 
I am happy of having you in my life. We can talk about everything for hours and don't get tired. But then something unexpectedly sweet comes out of your lips. And clouds come back to my sky. When you said those things I am totally confused about us. What are we? What could we be? 
Unfortunately I will never answer these questions because we are living in different places and cities and situations. And the worst part is that you own my heart. And I don't know when I will be able to rid out of you, when I will be able to love someone else or when I will be brave enough to tell you what I feel and rid out of my huge regret as small as a kiss. 

Ghosts

I keep going to the river to pray

'Cause I need something that can wash out the pain

And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away

But your ghost, the ghost of you

It keeps me awake

Less than a month ago my life has totally changed. And even if I wanted this change badly I'm still in the process of getting used to all this "new world".

I moved to a new city, I'm living with new people, I'm speaking a new language and I'm attending a new University. And I'm really excited of all this "new", I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I'm finally living the life I was looking for.

I'm feeling exactly the way I expected to feel when I was dreaming about this life I wanted so bad. But never in my dreams I thought that this would happened to me.

I see ghosts.

Everyday walking in the street I see people running to their work or school and I always have the impression I have seen them before but back home. My mind keeps carrying people from my old life to this new one and this makes me feel very confused. Sometimes I'm about to wave at any person in front of me and then I realize that she is not my neighbor but she is just an old lady doing some grocery shopping. Everything looks so familiar and unknown at the same time that it makes me feel lost. Alone. It makes me think of my old life and wondering if leaving my friends, my family, my home, my city was the correct thing to do. 

But then I wake up in the morning and I realize I'm ensuring me a future and I'm having the best education I can have, I jump out of the bed (literally, because sometimes my bed holds me for those extra 10 minutes) and a strong feeling take the control of my mind: happiness.

So, I don't care if I keep seeing ghosts all over my way. I'm happy. And I'm sure that if I keep smiling at them, I can bring them back to life and not feel intimidated by them. They will become my friends.